Five Ways That Cars Are Like Women

The hotter they are, the less likely you can afford them

Sure Italian supermodels are the stuff of fantasy, but unless you’ve got a Gulfstream V parked in the hangar (and no, that isn’t a euphemism) you can’t afford one. In fact, if you’ve got a Gulfstream in your hangar, you really can’t afford one.

If they go fast, sooner or later they’ll break your heart

Neil Young had it wrong: fading away is much better than burning out. The faster something is (whether it’s got legs, wings or wheels), the more likely it is to break your heart. It’s never a matter of if, only a matter of when.

Foreign models have different maintenance requirements

Know this going in: foreign models have quirks that you may not be accustomed to. Be patient, and listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Sometimes, different is expensive, but many times different is simply eye-opening.

Ignore them long enough and they’ll leave you high and dry

This also applies to anything with legs, wheels or wings. Why did my Scirocco leave me stranded at the worst possible times? Because I didn’t take care of it the way I should have. Relationships work the same way, although the parts costs and towing bills tend to be higher.

Regular servicing is the key to a long, happy relationship

Follow the instruction manual, but if you didn’t get one with your particular model remember this: more frequent service, with high quality parts, is far better than infrequent service (with shoddy parts).

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